we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
