Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
