i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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