my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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