Got a toothbrush?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How does one acquire holy water?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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