I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
