fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize