You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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