Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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