So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize