Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..