You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.