haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.