My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.