I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize