i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.