I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
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I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
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I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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