textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
