I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
