omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
