"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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