sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
