I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
