the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
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you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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