that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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