and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
