is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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