Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
