Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
