Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize