Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
