This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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