He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
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dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
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Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.