Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.