Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?

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  (513): Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude? http://tfl.nu/2xw8
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.

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  (519): dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto. http://tfl.nu/omlc
  Replies (40) Good night (639) Bad night (3346) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.

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  (941): Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band. http://tfl.nu/r564
  Replies (11) Good night (964) Bad night (4172) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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  (334): she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rmvr
  Replies (39) Good night (1317) Bad night (5466) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

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  (970): Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone? http://tfl.nu/jm19
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  He just wants an even tan

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  (860): I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked. (1-860): He just wants an even tan http://tfl.nu/akk9
  Replies (18) Good night (4068) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.

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  (641): Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird. http://tfl.nu/ck05
  Replies (4) Good night (2002) Bad night (1437) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT

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  (902): WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT http://tfl.nu/q56u
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (2504) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

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  (912): Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back http://tfl.nu/294t
  Replies (7) Good night (2601) Bad night (654)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot

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  (270): The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys. (817): I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot http://tfl.nu/5unc
  Replies (2) Good night (1247) Bad night (566)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.

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  (314): oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night. http://tfl.nu/0hqo
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  You must be good in bed dude

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  (517): She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family. (1-517): You must be good in bed dude http://tfl.nu/2upq
  Replies (4) Good night (928) Bad night (349)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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  (248): I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer http://tfl.nu/yuzp
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.

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  (940): BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic. http://tfl.nu/0fj8
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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  (541): Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity. http://tfl.nu/lznq
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt

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