She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.