How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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