I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize