i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize