This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We have started to decorate penises.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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