Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
