I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
