she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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