Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.