forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
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she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's shark week go big or go home
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower