if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize