I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
