I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need to calm my uterus...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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