I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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