he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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