she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.