You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.