Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!