You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
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tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.