i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
