he wants to bone in the snuggie
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize