Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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