i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Randomize
