Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey