You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize