I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
